SOMETIMES

Sometimes I beg the silence to rip apart itself
to let me speak to you,shout on you,scream
it could have made me feel better...
I loved you, damn hell, I loved you;but its not that

Its ofcourse not an obligation for you to love me
but you knew me, you knew me well
We had spent quite some time together
shared some moments intimate to me
which now you dont just remember
Once I saw that expression in your eyes
which for me is beyond any verdict
as undifferentiable as life and and an endless dream
A desire it was in your unforgettable eyes
wanting me to hold you, hug you, possess you
You felt unafraid of anything and everything.

I didn't speak my emotions
but they didn't go unexpressed
for you acknowledged my acceptance of your admittance
with your cursory look down my soul.
Now that you have falllen in love with someone
I dont say its right or wrong
for who am I to say that
if I was never the one you loved.

Its just that you neither had time enough
nor any emotions for my share
5 min, 5 min and it was all over
for those 5 min I was completely soaked in your voice
Yes, the voice was familiar but words unfamiliar
5 min and my dreams, fantasies
all came rolling down the ground
but its not just the dreams that go futile
its my existence, my thoughts; a part of my soul.

Sometimes, I see you in silence and darkness
sitting beside me helping me figure out my existence
But its just that I forgot that you forgot me

Sometimes, I just want that silence to pervade
I want to lose myself, dissolve into its darkness
it brings me a feeling very familiar
and helps me avoid a feeling very familiar.

Sometimes, I sketch my heart on paper
Sometimes, I write what I read not
Sometimes, I express what I speak not
Sometimes, I pray that you will be back
Sometimes, I pray that I will give up this prayer...
Sometimes, my heart begs to cry out
that if it were to happen the way it did
you could have made it easier for me.